This might be entertaining on occasion

main.go

@@ -13,6 +13,7 @@ import (
 	"github.com/velour/catbase/plugins/babbler"
 	"github.com/velour/catbase/plugins/beers"
 	"github.com/velour/catbase/plugins/counter"
+	"github.com/velour/catbase/plugins/couldashouldwoulda"
 	"github.com/velour/catbase/plugins/db"
 	"github.com/velour/catbase/plugins/dice"
 	"github.com/velour/catbase/plugins/emojifyme"
@@ -78,6 +79,7 @@ func main() {
 	b.AddHandler("rpgORdie", rpgORdie.New(b))
 	b.AddHandler("sisyphus", sisyphus.New(b))
 	b.AddHandler("tell", tell.New(b))
+	b.AddHandler("couldashouldwoulda", couldashouldwoulda.New(b))
 	// catches anything left, will always return true
 	b.AddHandler("factoid", fact.New(b))
 	b.AddHandler("db", db.New(b))

plugins/couldashouldawoulda/csw.go

@@ -0,0 +1,85 @@
+// © 2013 the CatBase Authors under the WTFPL. See AUTHORS for the list of authors.
+
+package couldashouldawoulda
+
+import (
+	"fmt"
+	"math/rand"
+	"strings"
+
+	"github.com/velour/catbase/bot"
+	"github.com/velour/catbase/bot/msg"
+	"github.com/velour/catbase/config"
+)
+
+type CSWPlugin struct {
+	Bot    bot.Bot
+	Config *config.Config
+}
+
+func New(bot bot.Bot) *CSWPlugin {
+	return &CSWPlugin{
+		Bot: bot,
+	}
+}
+
+func (p *CSWPlugin) Message(message msg.Message) bool {
+	if !message.Command {
+		return false
+	}
+
+	lowercase := strings.ToLower(message.Body)
+	tokens := strings.Fields(lowercase)
+
+	if len(tokens) < 3 {
+		return false
+	}
+
+	could := tokens[0] == "could"
+	should := tokens[0] ==  "should"
+	would := tokens[0] == "would"
+
+	if could || should || would {
+		ors := strings.Count(lowercase, " or ")
+		var responses []string
+		if ors == 0 || could {
+			responses = []string{"Yes.", "No.", "Maybe.", "For fucks sake, how should I know?"}
+		} else if ors == 1 {
+			responses = []string{"The former.", "The latter.", "Obviously the former.", "Clearly the latter.", "Can't it be both?"}
+		} else {
+			responses = make([]string, ors*2)
+			for i := 0; i < ors; i++ {
+				responses[i*2] = fmt.Sprintf("I'd say option %d.", i+1)
+				responses[i*2+1] = "You'd be an idiot not to choose the "
+				if i == 0 {
+					responses[i*2+1] += " 1st"
+				} else if i == 1 {
+					responses[i*2+1] += " 2nd"
+				} else if i == 2 {
+					responses[i*2+1] += " 3rd"
+				} else {
+					responses[i*2+1] += fmt.Sprintf(" %dth", i+1)
+				}
+			}
+		}
+
+		p.Bot.SendMessage(message.Channel, responses[rand.Intn(len(responses))])
+		return true
+	}
+
+	return false
+}
+
+func (p *CSWPlugin) Help(channel string, parts []string) {}
+
+func (p *CSWPlugin) Event(kind string, message msg.Message) bool {
+	return false
+}
+
+func (p *CSWPlugin) BotMessage(message msg.Message) bool {
+	return false
+}
+
+func (p *CSWPlugin) RegisterWeb() *string {
+	return nil
+}

plugins/couldashouldawoulda/csw_test.go

@@ -0,0 +1,134 @@
+// © 2013 the CatBase Authors under the WTFPL. See AUTHORS for the list of authors.
+
+package couldashouldawoulda
+
+import (
+	"strings"
+	"testing"
+
+	"github.com/stretchr/testify/assert"
+	"github.com/velour/catbase/bot"
+	"github.com/velour/catbase/bot/msg"
+	"github.com/velour/catbase/bot/user"
+)
+
+func makeMessage(payload string) msg.Message {
+	isCmd := strings.HasPrefix(payload, "!")
+	if isCmd {
+		payload = payload[1:]
+	}
+	return msg.Message{
+		User:    &user.User{Name: "tester"},
+		Channel: "test",
+		Body:    payload,
+		Command: isCmd,
+	}
+}
+
+func Test0(t *testing.T) {
+	mb := bot.NewMockBot()
+	c := New(mb)
+	assert.NotNil(t, c)
+	res := c.Message(makeMessage("!should I drink a beer?"))
+	assert.Len(t, mb.Messages, 1)
+	assert.True(t, res)
+	possibilities := []string{"Yes.", "No.", "Maybe.", "For fucks sake, how should I know?"}
+	match := false
+	for _, possibility := range possibilities {
+		if strings.Contains(mb.Messages[0], possibility) {
+			match = true
+			break
+		}
+	}
+	assert.True(t, match)
+}
+
+func Test1(t *testing.T) {
+	mb := bot.NewMockBot()
+	c := New(mb)
+	assert.NotNil(t, c)
+	res := c.Message(makeMessage("!should I drink a beer or a bourbon?"))
+	assert.Len(t, mb.Messages, 1)
+	assert.True(t, res)
+	possibilities := []string{"The former.", "The latter.", "Obviously the former.", "Clearly the latter.", "Can't it be both?"}
+	match := false
+	for _, possibility := range possibilities {
+		if strings.Contains(mb.Messages[0], possibility) {
+			match = true
+			break
+		}
+	}
+	assert.True(t, match)
+}
+
+func Test2(t *testing.T) {
+	mb := bot.NewMockBot()
+	c := New(mb)
+	assert.NotNil(t, c)
+	res := c.Message(makeMessage("!could I drink a beer or a bourbon?"))
+	assert.Len(t, mb.Messages, 1)
+	assert.True(t, res)
+	possibilities := []string{"Yes.", "No.", "Maybe.", "For fucks sake, how should I know?"}
+	match := false
+	for _, possibility := range possibilities {
+		if strings.Contains(mb.Messages[0], possibility) {
+			match = true
+			break
+		}
+	}
+	assert.True(t, match)
+}
+
+func Test3(t *testing.T) {
+	mb := bot.NewMockBot()
+	c := New(mb)
+	assert.NotNil(t, c)
+	res := c.Message(makeMessage("!would I die if I drank too much bourbon?"))
+	assert.Len(t, mb.Messages, 1)
+	assert.True(t, res)
+	possibilities := []string{"Yes.", "No.", "Maybe.", "For fucks sake, how should I know?"}
+	match := false
+	for _, possibility := range possibilities {
+		if strings.Contains(mb.Messages[0], possibility) {
+			match = true
+			break
+		}
+	}
+	assert.True(t, match)
+}
+
+func Test4(t *testing.T) {
+	mb := bot.NewMockBot()
+	c := New(mb)
+	assert.NotNil(t, c)
+	res := c.Message(makeMessage("!would I die or be sick if I drank all the bourbon?"))
+	assert.Len(t, mb.Messages, 1)
+	assert.True(t, res)
+	possibilities := []string{"The former.", "The latter.", "Obviously the former.", "Clearly the latter.", "Can't it be both?"}
+	match := false
+	for _, possibility := range possibilities {
+		if strings.Contains(mb.Messages[0], possibility) {
+			match = true
+			break
+		}
+	}
+	assert.True(t, match)
+}
+
+func Test5(t *testing.T) {
+	mb := bot.NewMockBot()
+	c := New(mb)
+	assert.NotNil(t, c)
+	res := c.Message(makeMessage("!should I have another beer or bourbon or tequila?"))
+	assert.Len(t, mb.Messages, 1)
+	assert.True(t, res)
+	possibilities := []string{"I'd say option", "You'd be an idiot not to choose the"}
+	match := false
+	for _, possibility := range possibilities {
+		if strings.Contains(mb.Messages[0], possibility) {
+			match = true
+			break
+		}
+	}
+	assert.True(t, match)
+}