diff --git a/main.go b/main.go
index 7c0e539..6ade223 100644
--- a/main.go
+++ b/main.go
@@ -9,6 +9,7 @@ import (
 	"os"
 	"time"
 
+	"github.com/velour/catbase/plugins/achievements"
 	"github.com/velour/catbase/plugins/aoc"
 	"github.com/velour/catbase/plugins/twitter"
 
@@ -138,6 +139,7 @@ func main() {
 	b.AddPlugin(impossible.New(b))
 	b.AddPlugin(cli.New(b))
 	b.AddPlugin(aoc.New(b))
+	b.AddPlugin(achievements.New(b))
 	// catches anything left, will always return true
 	b.AddPlugin(fact.New(b))
 
diff --git a/plugins/achievements/achievements.go b/plugins/achievements/achievements.go
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..af3a1d3
--- /dev/null
+++ b/plugins/achievements/achievements.go
@@ -0,0 +1,81 @@
+package achievements
+
+import (
+	"fmt"
+
+	"github.com/jmoiron/sqlx"
+
+	"github.com/velour/catbase/bot"
+	"github.com/velour/catbase/bot/msg"
+	"github.com/velour/catbase/config"
+)
+
+// I feel dirty about this, but ;shrug
+var instance *AchievementsPlugin
+
+type Category int
+
+const (
+	Daily = iota
+	Monthly
+	Yearly
+	Forever
+)
+
+// A plugin to track our misdeeds
+type AchievementsPlugin struct {
+	bot bot.Bot
+	cfg *config.Config
+	db  *sqlx.DB
+}
+
+func New(b bot.Bot) *AchievementsPlugin {
+	if instance == nil {
+		ap := &AchievementsPlugin{
+			bot: b,
+			cfg: b.Config(),
+			db:  b.DB(),
+		}
+		instance = ap
+		ap.mkDB()
+		b.Register(ap, bot.Message, ap.message)
+		b.Register(ap, bot.Help, ap.help)
+	}
+	return instance
+}
+
+func (p *AchievementsPlugin) mkDB() error {
+	q := `
+	create table if not exists achievements
+	`
+	tx, err := p.db.Beginx()
+	if err != nil {
+		return err
+	}
+	_, err = tx.Exec(q)
+	if err != nil {
+		return err
+	}
+	err = tx.Commit()
+	if err != nil {
+		return err
+	}
+	return nil
+}
+
+func (p *AchievementsPlugin) message(c bot.Connector, kind bot.Kind, message msg.Message, args ...interface{}) bool {
+	return false
+}
+
+func (p *AchievementsPlugin) help(c bot.Connector, kind bot.Kind, message msg.Message, args ...interface{}) bool {
+	ch := message.Channel
+	me := p.bot.WhoAmI()
+	msg := fmt.Sprintf("%s helps those who help themselves.", me)
+	p.bot.Send(c, bot.Message, ch, msg)
+	return true
+}
+
+// Award is used by other plugins to register a particular award for a user
+func Award(nick, thing string, category Category) error {
+	return nil
+}
diff --git a/plugins/achievements/achievements_test.go b/plugins/achievements/achievements_test.go
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1ae9553
--- /dev/null
+++ b/plugins/achievements/achievements_test.go
@@ -0,0 +1 @@
+package achievements